I want to be dumb

Are you smart? Do you sometimes have the feeling when you give advices to friends that they listen to you like they would listen to Yoda? Bad news for you: Smart people get old faster. They are more stressed. They get more diseases. They die sooner or they end up killing someone or themselves. Terrible, isn’t it? Smart people spend also more time looking at computers or iPads and viewing and managing digital contents than dumb people – those blessed ones – and why, for what? When you die will anyone remember you, with tears in their sad eyes while constantly blowing their running nose, just because you kept your email box super organized, and the latest anti-virus up to date, or because you were the champion of this board game that nobody else but you and your four-eyed friends know, or will anyone evoke you because you mastered the Jedi language, or because you grasped that website that you created by yourself? Is anyone going to praise you for having being a workaholic? No, so start living like the dumb ones do. They are happier. Go out there with no fear and do something really dumb so that you can later tell that funny story to your grandkids one day. It is not a good thing to be smart. Look at the Japanese people, for example. They are ranked the 3rd highest average IQ of any country, and they are the number 1 country of workaholics. Now, are they happy people? Suicide in Japan has become a significant national social issue. Because of their culture they see suicide as the morally responsible action to take in some cases, I would say in too many cases. Dumb people live their lives as they flow and happen, they don’t question things they cannot change, they are not perfectionists, they don’t analyse deeply themselves, and they are the ones who live happily ever after. Smart people agonize. I read somewhere that smart people have tendency to be abusive in drinking, smoking and in doing hard drugs, and some studies have even shown correlation between high IQ and psychopathy. Great, right? A 2009 University of London study found also a relationship between high IQ and staying up late – I must be smart then – along with sleeping in. So while the dumb people goes to bed, has sex or hangs out with friends, for the smart people their evening hours are the most profitable and expected time of the day – it is 4 am right now, so I must really be a genius. The bad thing is that being a bat or a night owl is linked to depression and other health risks. Okay, I will finish this chronicle tomorrow.
Good morning. As I was saying yesterday – and this is a lie, it is still around 4 am and I still did not go to bed; you know, high IQ is also linked to compulsory lying – there are real downsides to being intelligent. It really scares me to death that more than 30 studies have linked higher intelligence to mental health disorders including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. So, pain and suicide are left for the smart people while cheesy flowers, stupid butterflies and sunny days are there for the dumb ones.
The painter Vincent Van Gogh, the composer Robert Schumann, the poet Emily Dickinson and the novelist Ernest Hemingway, just to name a few, fit in the picture of great brains who endured well-documented psychopathology, who have engaged in addictions and culminated in death by their own hands. So my pleading is simple: I don’t want to be smart anymore. I want to be happy and dumb. My parents should not have motivated me to learn and to be curious; they should not have stimulated my brain at all. It is a dangerous thing to do to a child. Our right to be dumb, and therefore happy, must be well looked after, treasured and fought for. When they asked Nash, the Nobel Prize-winning mathematician, schizophrenic and paranoid delusional, how he could believe that space aliens had recruited him to save the world, he was very simple with his answer. He said, ‘Because the ideas I had about supernatural beings came to me the same way that my mathematical ideas did. So I took them seriously’. Ignorance is happiness; it is peace of mind. Smart people live depressed. One of the reasons is that we realize how disgusting people truly are, how terrible ourselves can be, how imperfect love is, how majestically messed up the world will always be, how insubstantial our existence is, and how quickly we are dying – sometimes I think I can even hear my cells calling and dying, or my skin cracking and breaking in wrinkles just like the earth breaks when it dehydrates. Every year my bones are shrinking in size and density. It is painful how quickly I am coming back to dust. It is this stupid premature aging in smart people. This stupid chronic stress that accelerates biologic aging and support comes from studies confirming its aggressive effects on our immune system function, as well as how we respond to hidden inflammation. Low five. Also, I shouldn’t have born a girl, or definitely not smart. Being smart and being a girl is a no-go decision. My mother always tells me to play dumb to survive. Because despite all the talk about how men are cheering for gender equality at home and on the job, men don’t really like it when the women in their lives outshine them. They feel threatened. If the girl is smart, the smart man gets depressed. If the girl is stupid as a door, he is on top of the skyscraper full of himself and of his manhood pounding violently his bare-chest with his fists, one after the other, taking turns. After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his ego, and not through his stomach, as my grandma still foolishly believes. We better off dumb for the sake of humanity. A fast recap: Dumb guys go for dumb girls, and they live happily ever after. Smart guys go for dumb girls also, because smart girls are more difficult to entertain. So what do smart girls get? We get lonesomeness, envy of others, feeling of not belonging, premature aging, chronic stress, depression, psychopathologies, creativity – finally something nice – but we always end up killing ourselves. Fair enough. Can I be dumb then?
Now, after writing all this randomness, I thought that many people would hate me because I am insulting them. But then again: all of us, including myself, see ourselves as smart persons, don’t we? Intelligent people have a brain capable to realize they are intelligent, and the dumb ones have a limited brain that will not allow them to know the truth. So, in the end, I will not have a problem. There are no dumb people in the world.

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